Drowning
by courtofwizrd
Summary: "In the last week or so, something had changed for Percy. Whenever he arrived at Camp Half-Blood, he always felt at home, glad to be with his fellow demigods. But as the weeks had gone by, something had changed. Percy felt somewhat foggy, as if everyone around him was moving too fast, or maybe it was him who was moving too slow?" Sorry I suck at summaries, but please take look :)
1. Hang On

**Author's note: Hello there! So welcome to my first fan fiction after almost three years. It's also the first one I write in English! So I just binged the Percy Jackson books in the last weeks and then I got this idea. It was supposed to be a one shot, but now it's full story. At the moment I actually have no idea where this story will go, but I just hope you enjoy reading it.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing of Percy Jackson. Unfortunately.**

* * *

 _Chapter 1 - Hang On_

 _Hang on when the water is rising_  
 _Hang on when the waves are crashing_  
 _Hang on, just don't ever let go_

* * *

"Percy," Annabeth asked, placing her hand on his shoulder, "is everything alright?" Percy had arrived at the camp a few weeks ago, and met Chiron and Annabeth every night since then to talk.

They were worried about him, he could tell. And they had a reason to be worried, not that he would ever admit that to them. The feeling that he always got as soon as he arrived at Camp Half-Blood, the feeling of finally being at home again—he no longer felt it. He felt foggy, as if everyone around him was moving too fast, or maybe it was him who was moving too slow? The feeling of home was gone and he felt very out of sorts.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Percy said, taking a few steps away from Annabeth.

He immediately knew that he had hurt her with this gesture, but he couldn't stand to be near her. Lately, he had been doing that more and more often. He needed air to breathe.

"I think I'm going to rest now, it was a long day."

Percy felt the worried glances of Chiron and Annabeth, watching him as he turned away and walked back to his cabin

His cabin had hardly changed in the months he was gone, as was to be expected. Besides Tyson, he was the only inhabitant of the cabin of Poseidon. He was away for months, but his cabin still looked as if he had never really left. It was his home, exactly the way he wanted it, and yet, Percy still felt like an intruder and he didn't know why.

Only now did Percy noticed how tired he actually was. His eyes drifted shut again and again, and his body felt like as if he was carrying the weight of heaven on his shoulders (a feeling he was well acquainted with). He had not slept for days; he was too afraid of what he would see in his dreams.

Funnily enough they all thought he was a hero, celebrated him and his accomplishments when he finally returned. But Percy no longer felt like a hero, for what kind of hero was afraid to go to sleep?

Slowly, he pulled off his dirty clothes and carelessly threw them on the floor. He made no big effort to keep his cabin clean or care for his own hygiene. Percy crawled in his bed as he was and pulled the blanket up to his chin.

His gaze focused on the empty bed beside him, feeling a sense of loneliness well up; he missed his brother but he also missed Annabeth, his mother, and even his father Poseidon, he simply missed everyone. He felt alone and lost, but he knew that no one could help him.

Slowly, he closed his eyes and immediately fell into a nightmare.

It was dark.

"Percy!" He heard Annabeth scream, but he could not find her anywhere. Where was she? He had to find her.

"Annabeth!" He tried to scream, but no sound left his lips.

Suddenly he felt a strange hand on his back that pushed him closer and closer to the abyss. Only now did Percy realize that he was on a mountain. Where was he? And how had he come to be here? And where was Annabeth? The hand on his back pressed him farther and farther.

When he turned around, ready to attack the person standing right behind him, he realized with fright that no one was there. Confused, he looked around, but he couldn't see anyone. His feet carried him closer to the abyss. He wanted to stop, but he had no control over his legs. What was happening to him? He wanted to scream to call for help, but again no sound left his lips.

Then he saw her. Annabeth was not ten yards from him. She stared at him, wide-eyes filled with tears. Her lips formed his name, and he fell into the depths of Tartarus.

With a violent impact, Percy landed in the water. Immediately he felt relief. The water was his home, he was safe here, his father's gifts protected and healed him here. But when he tried to breathe underwater, the water gathered in his lungs.

He panicked and tried to reach the surface with all his power, but no matter how fast he swam, the water never seemed to end. It felt like an ice-cold hand had closed around Percy's neck, squeezing the air out of his lungs. Black dots danced before his eyes. Slowly his limbs grew tired and he stopped swimming. His eyes slowly closed and he let himself be pulled into by the water, right into the deep.

Percy opened his mouth, desperate to breath, but the cold water floods his lungs, causing an unbearable pain in his chest.

He found no salvation. It was as if Percy was drowning over and over again. It had no end, he was struggling for oxygen, which he never got. His head felt as if he were about to explode and-

With a jerk, Percy opened his eyes and panted for air.

A nightmare. "It was just a dream," he whispered to himself. But he knew just as well that it was not just a dream. He had almost drowned, and he'd never felt such a pain in his life, except maybe in the river of Styx, where he ironically had taken a bath.

Percy found it really strange to have dreams that didn't have deeper meaning. Normally, demigods only had dreams of real parts of the future, past or present. But what he dreamed about, in the last few weeks, were just dreams. They did not tell big stories, they only came from his subconscious.

A look out of his window indicated to Percy that morning was arriving. Since he could not go to sleep again, even if he tried, he got up and began to take care of the mess in his cabin. Normally, that was totally untypical of him. Percy was just a messy person, everyone knew that. It was always Tyson who looked after the well-being of the cabin and kept it clean. But as it would still take an hour before breakfast was ready and Percy was still too nervous about his dream, he decided to do something as a kind of distraction.

He laid his clothes properly into the crate before his bed and dressed in fresh clothing. He cleaned the floor, the windows, even the old sink. When he had finished, and had some time left, he decided to switch the beds and crates. His bed was at the end of the cabin on the left side, Tyson's bed was right next to him. He pushed the beds apart and moved his to the other side of the cabin. It did not really matter, but he wanted to, he had to distract himself, because as soon as he closed his eyes, he saw the darkness and felt the panic and the water around him.

Percy knew it was ridiculous, he was the son of Poseidon, the god of the sea and it was a one-time thing that he almost drowned. He knew that if he went into the water right now, he could swim freely again and breathe. But despite this, he began to shiver as soon as he thought about it.

A knock on the door tore him out of his thoughts and he jumped, frightened. "Yes?" he asked. As Percy raised his head, he looked into the gray eyes of Annabeth and immediately relaxed.

"Hey…" she said with a shy smile, she could feel something was wrong with him, that he was off.

"Hey," Percy replied, trying smile at her. His behavior from the previous evening made him feel guilty, he knew that he had behaved terribly. "I'm sorry about yesterday, I mean…" Percy muttered, taking Annabeth's hand gently into his.

She smiled at him with sad eyes. "It's okay, Percy. You've been through a lot…" Without thinking about it, he looped his arms around her neck and pulled her into a tight hug. Annabeth instantly closed her arms around his waist and relaxed. They simply held each other without words. After a few minutes, both of them separated. "We should go to breakfast now," Annabeth whispered, closing her hand around Percy's, who nodded and followed Annabeth outside.

At breakfast, Percy felt completely alone again at the large table. He hated the rule that nobody from another cabin could sit at another table. Right now, he could use some company, even if he would not like to admit it.

Percy poked at his food with a fork not having much of an appetite, which was extremely unusual for him. He wasn't the only one to to notice, he could see the other campers glancing his way only to turn back to their table and discuss it with his siblings.

He could not hear what they were talking about for sure, of course, but even a blind man could have seen that he was once again a hot conversation topic. Percy knew the gist of it, he didn't have to hear the exact words.

They were wondering what had happened to him. Percy was never so quiet, not even when they had fought against the Titans, he had looked so depressed. Of course, they knew that the last few months had been hard for him, but they all wondered what might have broken the strong son of Poseidon. Without taking another look at the food before him, Percy stood up and left the table. All the conversations fell silent and they turned towards him and watched him leave. But he still heard the voice of Clarisse saying, "What happened to him?" with an amused sound in her voice.

Before Percy realized it, he found himself at the lake. He sat down on the shore of the lake, but not too close. His eyes stared at the water and he watched as the sun danced over the surface. Not for the first time, he wondered how such a beautiful thing could be so dangerous at the same time.

"Hey Percy!", he suddenly heard the voice of Clarisse, the daughter of Ares, behind him. Percy, however, did not answer her; he did not feel like he was in the mood for the usual discussions with her. But Clarisse did not give up so easily.

Behind her, more and more campers gathered, probably thinking they were seeing one of the most legendary fights between Percy and Clarisse, which happened more often than you might think. But Percy wasn't in the mood to fight, either.

"What's wrong with our little fish?" she asked, laughing, and her siblings agreed. Percy did not react again, keeping his gaze fixed on the lake, ignoring Clarisse behind him.

Suddenly, Percy felt someone grabbing his arms, raising his legs and lifting him up. "What are you doing?" he shouted, looking into Clarissa's eyes, which glared back at him.

"I think you need a cooling off, son of Poseidon," she teased.

Immediately, Percy panicked as he realized what they were up to. _No, not into the water. Please do not throw me into the water_ , he thought. Percy struck out, trying to defend himself, but they did not let go of him.

"Why do you resist so much? The water will not do you any harm," said Clarisse, laughing. Percy looked helpless at the others, but no one did anything. Right, why would they? They knew nothing about Percy's new fear of the water, no one knew about it. But then he saw a familiar face, Annabeth. She looked at him confused but also caring, she also did not understand why Percy was resisting, but she cried: "Clarisse! Let him go, now!" But she only laughed and threw a glance at her two brothers who held Percy, and after a moment they threw him into the lake.

His head dove under water and immediately he sank like a stone, ever deeper.

Percy knew he had to swim, but his body did not obey him. He couldn't breathe, either; the fear of the unbearable pain was too big. The panic in him grew stronger, his chest contracted, and he struck wildly, trying to get up somehow. Otherwise, he would drown.

 _Dad, Poseidon_ , he thought. But Percy was sure that he would not hear him. He knew that he needed to find the courage to breathe, or just to swim, but no matter how much he wanted to breathe, the water ran into his lungs and burned like fire.

Just like in Percy's dream, black dots were dancing before his eyes, and he knew he would lose his consciousness. But then he could feel two arms that grabbed him and carried him to the surface. Annabeth carried Percy out of the water and set him down on the shore.

His body reacted immediately. Percy gasped for air and spat all water out of his lungs. He held himself with his hands, but his body shivered so hard that it was difficult for him to sit up at all. Percy took a deep breath, but it was still not enough air. He still felt the burning in his lungs, his chest. "What happened?" He heard the loud voice of Chiron. Immediately, all the people at camp made room for him to pass.

Percy had not even noticed that they had formed a circle around him, to take a look at him. One did not see every day how a son of Poseidon drowned and panicked with fear of the water. "They threw him into the water, but he didn't show up again, he almost..." Annabeth stopped.

"He almost drowned," one of the Ares brothers finished her sentence. Chiron looked at Percy with a frown. "I'm fine," Percy said, standing up, his legs still wobbling. They all still looked at him with wide eyes, as if he had gone mad. Without another word, Percy walked past them, hearing Annabeth and Chiron calling his name, but he did not want to tell anyone, not even his girlfriend.

"How can the son of Poseidon drown?" Percy whispered to himself and went back to his cabin.

Alone.

* * *

 **So that was my first Percy Jackson story writing ever!**

 **I hope you guys liked it?**

 **Tell me what you want I'll try to do my best! Because I actually have some ideas how this story could go on!**

 **And a BIG thank you to everyone who helped me with this chapter.**


	2. Everything is lost

**Author's note: Thank you guys for all the nice reviews on my first chapter! It means a lot to me!**

 **Okay, now let us continue with this little story. But I warn you, this story is most likely to get a little bit... dark ;)**

 **Disclaimer: I still not own anything of the Percy Jackson universe.**

* * *

 _Chapter 2 - Everything is lost_

 _Everything is lost_  
 _And this nightmare's closing in_  
 _Everything is lost_  
 _There's a sorrow beneath my skin_  
 _This is the end of me_

* * *

When Percy reached his cabin, he noticed that his clothes were soaking wet. (Usually, they were waterproof), but at the moment nothing was, how it was supposed to be in his life anyway. Sighing, he pulled out his wet clothes and threw them on the ground. He didn't think or even care about the fact that he had cleared his whole cabin just a few hours ago.

What was he supposed to do know? He couldn't go back to the campers, under any circumstances. They all must think he was a failure. But wasn't he? A failure? Probably.

"What am I supposed to do?" Percy whispered, sitting down on the cold wooden floor.

He pulled his legs to his body and buried his head between his knees. He still saw the faces of the other campers before his eyes, the way they had looked at him. But not even that was what bothered him, it really did not matter what the others thought about him.

But what mattered to him was, what Annabeth thought about him. Percy had seen her, she had not looked confused like the others. But he had only seen, by the look in her eyes, that she could guess what was wrong with him and that was not a good thing. How so? Yeah, Percy did not want to be alone anymore, but he did not want anyone to worry about him either. Annabeth has already been through so much and he did not want to bother her with his problems. For that was he, no boy or demigod, he was a problem.

And when he realized that, Percy knew what to do.

Immediately he jumped up and grabbed a backpack from his crate. He only filled it with his clothes, it was the only thing he would need. He would go home. He did no longer belong here, he was totally out of place.

When Percy was standing at the door, he glanced back at his cabin, where he had once felt so secure, but that has been a long time ago. "I'm sorry, Dad. I am such a disappointment for you, "He whispered, closing the door behind him.

"Percy!"

Just as he was about to leave the camp, Percy again heard the familiar voice.

"Where are you going?" Annabeth asked. He lowered his eyes, he did not want to see how he would hurt her.

"Home," he replied simply. Now he raised his eyes and looked at Annabeth. But she did not look sad, as he had expected, she actually looked a little bit angry. "Annabeth-" Percy wanted to explain it to her but he just couldn't. But she did not say a word. She just stood there, staring at him and shaking her head inconspicuously.

"This is your home, Percy," Annabeth said after a short time of silence.

"Whatever is going on with you, we can help you. I can help you ... "Her voice was getting quieter. He really wanted to stay here with her, after all, she was still his best friend, or even more, but he just couldn't. Percy could not stand another single day here, maybe he would come back, but maybe he wouldn't.

"It's not my home, not anymore. I'm so sorry, Anny, " He whispered, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, Seaweed brain." Immediately her countenance became softer.

A small smile flitted over Percys lips, as she called him by his old nickname. Without another word, he turned around and disappeared into the deep of the forest.

When Percy stepped out of the taxi, standing in front of the apartment in Brooklyn, where he lived with his mother and Paul, he felt uncomfortable for the first time. What should he tell them? There was never been a moment before, where Percy had decided to leave camp earlier. He had not even told them where he had been the last eight months, in which he had been missing. And his trip to Tartarus he had also kept a secret. His mother had always been worried about her son, who was tracked down by monsters and gods, so Percy had spared her the exact details.

Slowly, Percy went up the stairs to the third floor. When he had been standing in front of the door, he hesitated for a little moment, maybe he should go somewhere else? But he had immediately pushed that thought aside, he could not disappear again for weeks, or even months, his mother would not survive it once more.

With a loud sigh, Percy put a smile on his lips (he was getting really good at it) and knocked at the door. It was already late in the evening, the journey from the camp to Manhattan had taken some time, especially since Percy had spent some little more time in the forest, which had probably not been the smartest idea of him, considering the fact that even when they had defeated the Titans, there were still enough monsters (and Ares) out there who wanted to see him dead.

After a few minutes, however, he heard someone muttering the key in the keyhole and unlocking the door.

"Percy?" Paul asked, with a sleepy voice.

"Yeah ... Hey," He mumbled and ran his hand through his black hair.

"What a surprise. What are you doing here? Well, actually it doesn't matter at the moment, come in, "he said, stepping aside, allowing Percy to enter the apartment.

Everything looked as usual, all things were super tidy (one of Paul's ticks), he could even see from this spot, through the open room door, that even the bed in his room was made.

"Well, you know where everything is. We'll talk about it tomorrow morning, okay? It's in the middle of the night and I would rather not wake up your mother." Percy nodded.

"Thank you, Paul. Good night, "He said and snuck quietly to his room.

He immediately took off his clothes, which had been dry for a long time but still carried the smell of the sea, which reminded him of what had happened. Even his room reminded him of the depths of the sea, everything was set up in a dark and bright blue tone. After all, this was his favorite color, or was it before he had become that strange person. He shook his head as if it were going to evict these thoughts in some way.

On his tiptoes, Percy crept into the bathroom, which laid on the other side of his room. And for the first time in days, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He took a sharp breath, no wonder the other campers had looked at him so weird. He looked like death (and he knew what death looked like, exactly like Nicos weird zombie friends). His once so blue, green eyes, which were always compared with the colors of the sea, now only looked murky and empty. Percy had deep eye-rings from the many sleepless nights where he woke up, gasping for air. Percys skin was pale too, and he had lost some weight. Disgusted by his own sight, Percy turned his gaze away and quickly cleaned his teeth. He forgot to wash his face on purpose, even that reminded him too much of what had happened.

Back in his room, Percy laid down on his bed. A look at the clock, which stood on his night table, told him it was already three o'clock in the morning. Percy laid on his side and stared at the blank, blue wall. He was so incredibly tired, no question, but sleep was not a redemption either. He would only wake up again and again, which was even more stressful than simply staying awake. But not even this was always possible. His eyelids felt heavy and before he could fight back, he had fallen asleep.

Percy was at the sea. The waves crashed against the rocks and a strong storm came up. He was not sure where exactly he was, but it was definitely not in Manhattan.

"Percy."

A voice whispered his name. The voice came from all directions and whispered his name again and again. Percy had the unpleasant feeling as if the water would actually whisper his name, call him. As in a kind of trance, he walked with small steps to the water. It was ice cold and goose bumps pulled over Percys body. He only wore a few shorts, nothing more.

The cold water felt like a thousand little needle stitches in his skin, but he did not stop, the voice kept calling him. But when the water reached his stomach, he stopped abruptly. His body was trembling and he could feel his lips already getting blue. The voice, which he had heard so clearly, had been silenced. Percy just heard the rushing of the waves and the rattle of his teeth.

"Control it." The voice suddenly interrupted the silence.

"What do you mean?" Percy shouted to get up against the loud sound of the waves. His body was now shivering so hard that he had wrapped his arms around himself, to feel some kind of warm feeling. But it did not help, his feet were beginning to feel numb.

"Control it," the voice whispered again. All of the sudden, Percy saw a giant wave coming right up to him.

 _Control it, H_ e repeated the voice in his head. And then he realized. "I'm supposed to control the water?" When the voice did not answer, Percy was sure she had meant that. Percy closed his eyes and focused on the water. He felt the waves around him, and he thought of the wave that was coming right up to him and he imagined it splitting around him. But when he opened his eyes again, nothing had happened. As much as he wanted, and tried, the water did not listen to him. "No, please don't," Percy screamed, trying to get out of the water. But it was already too late, the wave hit him and he sank under the water. The last thing he noticed was the voice.

"You've lost it."

Percy suddenly awoke from his dream. What did that mean? He looked at the clock, only two hours had passed. As always, Percy knew that he would not fall asleep again. He still heard the voice in his head.

 _You've lost it._

What did he lose? His power? Instantly Percy felt a slight panic. What if his dream had something real about it? He did not have a dream, which had a deeper meaning for a long time, but perhaps this was a hint? Could, he actually had lost his powers? If so, what would happen? Would he still be the son of Poseidon? Would he still be a demigod or just a normal human being? Percy felt a painful throb in his head, that were clearly too many questions that he had no answer to.

"Percy!" With a jerk, his room door was torn open and his mother rushed to him. She immediately closed him into a tight hug.

"Mum," He replied, and returned her hug. Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at his watch. It was indeed seven o'clock, he had been lying awake for two hours, thinking about everything, without noticing how fast the time has passed. Sally broke away from the hug and looked at her son.

"How are you, my sweetheart?" She asked, falling down onto his bed next to Percy.

"I'm fine," He lied and smiled at her. She stroked a loose hair from his forehead and sighed.

"But why are you here? When I woke up, Paul told me that you were standing in front of the door in the middle of the night. Did something happen? In the camp, I mean. Maybe with Annabeth?" Percy looked into the worried face of his mother, exactly that he had actually wanted to avoid.

"No mum, everything is alright between me and Annabeth, promised. I just wanted to go home. I mean, I was away for a long time and just missed it, "He replied. It was not quite the truth, but it was not a whole lie either.

"Okay, then it's fine. Are you hungry? Paul is making breakfast." Percy nodded, though he was actually not that hungry, just like all the weeks before.

Sally had made some blue pancakes for Percy, but he only ate one and left the rest.

"And? How was it at the camp? "Asked Percys mother before taking a sip of her coffee.

Percy cleared his throat.

"It was good, as always. We trained a lot and yes, as always everything was just ... wonderful, "He said, smiling at his mother.

"I'm glad," She replied. Percy stared at his plate. He remembered that voice again.

 _You've lost it._

 _"_ Mum, can I borrow the car for today? I wanted to go to the sea." There was nothing unnatural that Percy occasionally asked if he could go to the sea when he was at home.

After all, Sally and also Paul knew that it was something like his third home, when the camp was counted. And somehow the sea was a part of the family, as crazy as it may sound, but that was it when you had Poseidon in the family.

"You can take my car," Paul said for the first time. "It would be nice, though, if I did not find any hoof marks on the bonnet from a Pegasus this time," He said, smiling, trying to loosen the mood.

In fact, Percy had to suppress a small smile during this recollection.

"Promised," He said, standing up from his seat.

"See you tonight, okay?"

"Yes, and please be careful! Love you, "Sally said.

"I love you, too," Percy said before he ran out of the apartment with the car key in his hand.

When Percy arrived at the long beach island after the two-hour drive, the first raindrops fell down. The beach on which he was walking by was a bit remote and there were no people around. Only the sea and the cars at a distance were heard. It was almost like the dream that Percy had. The only difference was; Here he heard no voice. And yet, he went closer to the water.

 _You've lost it._

Percy closed his eyes, focused on the water, on the movements, as he had done many times before. He wanted to prove that he was still Percy Jackson.

Percy Jackson, who brought back Zeus lightning, who saved Thalia, who had survived the labyrinth, who had defeated the Titans and all the other monsters. He, Percy Jackson, had survived the depths of Tartarus, and he would prove to everyone that he was still the strong son of Poseidon.

But when Percy opened his eyes again, it was as if nothing had happened. The waves flowed quietly to the beach, the rain dripped softly to the wet ground. And the only storm that raged, was in Percys head. "I've lost it," He whispered.

"I have no control over the water, anymore."

* * *

 **So yeah, as you can see I decided to continue this story! * yay***

 **I actually only have some little ideas (at the moment) so I have no idea where this fan fiction will go. Okay well, that's not entirely true, I have one idea that's going to be a BIG well... plot twist, I guess? But this will happen in like, idk, maybe Chapter 12 or something like that (if I even get that far lol)**

 **Anyway, I hoped you liked this chapter! If yes, please let me know. It is really the only motivation I have when you guys give me a review. Otherwise, I am really unmotivated and lazy haha.**

 **So leave a little review and tell me what you think! You can also, always give me some critic and tell me what I could maybe do better next time! (But please stay nice)**

 **Thank you for your support!**

 **Oh and I have a little question: Are my chapters too short? Should I write longer ones? If yes, it would also take more time to upload of course. So tell me what you want :)**

 **Love, Dana xxx**

 **p.s: Again thank you to my beta reader for helping me :)**

 **p.p.s: Sorry for the horrible English xD**


	3. Info (Question!)

**Authors Note: Hello people!**

 **It's been quite a while since I last updated, and unfortunately, it's going to take a little bit more time.**

 **I already wrote Chapter 3, but my beta reader still has to read it.**

 **And to be honest I'm not even sure anymore if anyone would even want me to go on anymore?**

 **I don't know, it's just- I work really hard on my chapters and when no one reads them, there's actually not a real point**

 **in keep going. Of course I really, really love writing this story!**

 **But I also just started working as a nurse and I have to learn so many things**

 **about the human body and it's really hard, so yeah, I just wanted to ask if anyone here is still interested in this story,**

 **so I know for sure if I should keep on going :)**

 **Please let me know! And I will try my best.**

 **Love, Dana xxx**


	4. Into the Fire

**Author's Note: omg thank you so much for all these nice and beautiful reviews! They made me so happy!**

 **So yeah, I'm not going to say much this time, just enjoy this chapter! (or not because it's really sad...)**

 ***there's a little trigger warning! Since this chapter contains thoughts about suicide***

 **Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) still don't own anything from the PJ universe.**

* * *

 _Chapter 3 - Into the fire_

 _And now I'm alone I'm looking out_  
 _I'm looking in, way down_  
 _The lights are dim_  
 _and now I'm alone I'm looking out_  
 _I'm looking in, way down_  
 _The lights are dim_  
 _Ooooh_

 _Come on, come on_  
 _Put your hands into the fire_  
 _Come on, come on._

* * *

Percy reached Brooklyn after four hours. On the way back, the rain transformed into a rainstorm, as if the weather would reflect his emotions. As he turned into the street to his home, he saw the first lightning flashes in the sky.

"I guess there's someone who is in the exact same mood as myself." Percy muttered and climbed out into the rain. Immediately his clothes were soaked and he sighed loudly.

"And again wet, great. Thank you very much, Zeus. " He said sarcastically, trudging through the rain to the other side of the street where his home was.

"Mum, I'm back," Percy shouted, closing the door behind him. Immediately Sally came out of the kitchen and smiled at her son.

"Oh Percy, you're all wet? I hope the rain did not stop you too much? But how was it? Was it good?" She asked. Percy just nodded.

"Mum, my father is Poseidon, I am used to the water. And yes, it was very relaxing, "he asserted.

Percy was almost scared of how well he could lie to his mother. And he hated every minute in which he lied to her. Of course, he could just tell her the truth, but then she would worry too much about him. It was simply the better option to conceal the truth.

"I'm making myself ready for bed now. I'm really exhausted. "Percy murmured. His mother looked at him worried. "Percy ...", he knew exactly what would come now, he already saw it by the look on her face. It was only a matter of time before they would notice his weird behaviour. "Is everything okay with you? I mean, Paul and I are a little bit worried, you know?" As for the cue, Paul came out of the living room and put an arm around Sally.

"I'm fine, I promise," Percy said while running his hand through his black hair.

"It's just, you're somehow so distant... We do not know why and, Percy? If anything has happened, you can always talk to us, you know that right?" Sally had tears in her eyes, but tried to suppress them.

"Mum ..." Percy whispered, closing her into a tight hug. "I really appreciate that, but everything is fine, I promise you. I just had a few strenuous months. "

She nodded and broke away from the hug with her son. "Okay, sweetheart, I believe you. I just want you to be happy." Percy smiled at his mum.

"I am. Goodnight, mum. I love you."

"Good night, Percy. I love you too, sleep well." If she would just know, how much Percy actually wished to sleep well again. Sleep was now luxury in his life.

With his head bowed, Percy went into the small bathroom in his room. Even if he really did not want to take a shower and be confronted with the water once again. But he could not avoid the water forever.

He pulled out his still wet clothes and climbed into the small shower. Instantly, the hot water run on his pale skin. It was only now that Percy noticed how cold he had actually been, thanks to the rain and his trip to the sea. Goosebumps pulled over his body, he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. And in this moment, Percy was not afraid of the water, it was as if nothing had happened.

But this feeling disappeared just as quickly as it had come. His mind once again turned around what had happened. He was powerless. His powers were gone. But why? Had Poseidon taken it away from him somehow? Had Percy embarrassed him at the camp, so that know he wants to punish him? But somehow Percy could not believe that. Yes, his father was a powerful god, but unlike many other gods, his father had never been cruel to him. Yes, his father was a powerful god, but unlike many other gods, his father had never been cruel to him. Okay, he had often ignored him or was angry at him, but he never acted like the kind of father who would do such a thing.

But honestly? What did Percy know? He hardly knew his father. Perhaps he was wrong about him, after all. Poseidon was already over a thousand years old, and probably had more pages in his life which Percy didn't know about.

A loud sigh left his lips. Because no matter for what reason he had no control over the water anymore, it was definitely a problem. If the gods find out about it, so will all the monsters, and that would mean Percy was an easy target. There were still enough creatures out there who wanted to see the son of Poseidon dead.

But there was another thought that did not let him go. Would he ever be able to return to the camp?To Annabeth, whom he had left behind? If he had lost the powers of Poseidon, and everything else, was he still a demigod? The thought made him shiver. But if he was no demigod anymore, would the monsters and gods still haunt him? After all, he would not be a big threat anymore. But Percy knew that this thought was only a wishful thought. Even if he was no longer a threat, some would want to take revenge on him for that he had done to them during the war.

And suddenly, Percy was no longer frustrated or sad about the loss of his powers. He was furious. Hadn't he been through enough? Would it ever stop? He already knew the answer to these questions, a clear no. It was never enough and it would never stop. Without thinking about it, Percy struck his fist as hard as he could, against the wall. Immediately he felt a sharp pain, but he did not stop and hit it again, stronger this time. Only when he could almost feel a crack, he stopped. The blood ran along the wall and the water turned slightly red. After a few seconds, Percy noticed that the water was no longer warm, but already cold.

He turned off the shower and washed the red spots from the wall. Then he got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his hips. Percy ignored the pain that came from his hand, he had already felt much worse pain.

As Percy went back to his room, he dressed up and immediately fell back into his bed. But he was not tired at all. No matter how hard he tried to not think about the fact that his father might be the reason why he had lost his power, it didn't work. It made him angry, but also incredibly sad, but he would never admit that out loud.

Percy thought that after the war of the Titans and giants, something would change, but everything was still the same. The gods acknowledged their children, but nothing more. Percy had not heard anything from Poseidon for a long time as well. And again, as so often in his life, he wondered why he just could not be like all the other ordinary people out there. It might sound incredibly exciting to be the son of a real God, but there were more negative things than positives. Apart from all the monsters. As a demigod, Percy would never be able to build a real relationship with his father, or with anyone else. Every day, Percy was persecuted by the constant fear of being killed, as soon as he did not pay attention for a few minutes. And now more than ever, because of the loss of his powers.

Some time ago his life hadn't been that bad, despite all the things that came as a half-god on one. He had spend some beautiful days with the love of his life and he felt happy for a little while. But now?Percy felt as he could barely breathe. Every day was a fight, he even had to force himself to just get out of the bed. What no one knew, he had felt like that before, a long time ago. When Percy had been a child and his mother and him had still lived together with Gabe. Yes, he had been young, but had already been through a lot this time. But not even Sally knew about it.

 _"Where are you, boy? Come here right now!"_

 _Percy hid under the table. His tiny hands over his ears, so that he could not hear anything. His mother was working and he was alone with Gabe. He had accidentally crashed his bottle of beer while he was playing, and he knew exactly what would happen now._

 _"Oh, there you are, you little piece of shit."_

 _Percy tried to run away, but Gabe was a lot bigger and faster than he was with his eight years. Gabe grabbed Percy with his big, strong hands._

 _"No, please," he cried and tears streamed down his little cheek._

 _But Gabe ignored this, and Percy felt a fist in his stomach. He instantly crawled and coughed._

 _"Stop crying, you little bastard and be a man." But Percy couldn't stop. Gabe hit him one more time and Percy fell on the cold ground._

 _"I hope that was a lesson for you."_

Percy had not thought about these memories for such long time, they almost felt like blurry dreams.

But even if the injuries had disappeared from his skin, the scars he felt inside, never really healed and probably never would.

He glanced at his watch, but it was just a few minutes after midnight. He would definitely not sleep tonight, that he was sure about. He struck his bed linen aside and stood up. Percy did not know what he would do. He only knew one thing, that he desperately needed fresh air.

Quickly he pulled a sweater over and slipped into a pair of jeans that were still lying on his floor. It was probably not the best idea to go out there on his own, in the middle of the night. Not only because of monsters or gods who wanted to see him dead. After all, he lived in New York, where accidents were nothing new. But even this did not matter to him at the moment, he just wanted to distract himself somehow.

As quietly as Percy could, he slipped through the apartment and disappeared through the door.

Percy had no plan where he was going. He just ran through the town until he suddenly was standing at the Brooklyn Bridge. The many lights reflected on the water and the image of what Percy was looking at was just beautiful. No matter what he did, somehow it would always pull him to the water, whether he wanted to or not, it was almost like a magnet.

Despite the late hour, many people were still on the road. Instantly, Percy wondered how the lives of those who walked past him, would look like. Whether they were happy? Or maybe there were some who felt like him? Alone. Useless. Kind of abandoned. Percy sighed. When had his life taken such a turn? Was it before he fell into Tartarus? Or afterwards? Was it the time where he almost drowned? He could not remember. He could not even remember the last time he'd been truly happy, it felt like an eternity. Percy just stood there and looked down from the bridge at the water, which seemed more black than blue because of the dark night. But because of all the lights, it did not look creepy or dull, it was the opposite. It almost looked like the stars were dancing in the water. If he would ever be able to use his powers again?

"Hey, young man, are you all right?" Percy suddenly heard a voice behind himself. He immediately turned around. A man, something of the age of thirty, stood before him. In his hand he held a briefcase and he wore a suit. _Wow, a typical businessman,_ Percy thought.

"Um, yes, thank you. I'm fine," Percy murmured, frowning. Why would a stranger on the road stop and talk to him?

"Are you sure? If you need someone to talk to or help, there's always a way out." And then Percy understood. As crazy as it may be, he began to laugh.

"Oh my God, no. I don't want to kill myself, wow. I'm just standing here, enjoying the view, "Percy said but continued to laugh.

He did not even understand himself why. There was absolutely nothing funny about this, he probably has totally lost his mind.

"Okay, then it's fine," the man replied, giving Percy a confused look.

He probably thought he was insane. With a last look at Percy, the man turned around and disappeared in the crowd.

Percy didn't know what to do. So he just stood there, looking at the water. Thinking about everything and nothing at all.

After a while, he decided to go back home, after all, he wanted to be back home before his mother noticed his disappearance.

When he was back in his room, the clock told him it was already six o'clock in the morning, his mother and Paul would soon wake up. He took off his clothes and exchanged them for his pyjamas.

Then he laid down on his bed and stared at the wall again. Now that he was back home, his thoughts went back to the moment on the bridge, where the man thought he was going to jump, and suddenly he the thought was not so funny anymore.

Percy had never thought of such a thing in his life, but now? He thought about dying, but he did not want to die. On the contrary, he wanted to live. But the way his life looked like at the moment, Percy did not know exactly how. He was not suicidal, but he also knew that if a monster or a god would wanted to kill him now, he would just laugh and say, "Go ahead."

Percy, perplexed by his own thoughts, sat upright in his bed and ran his hand through his black hair.

A knock on the door made him start up.

"Yes?" He answers. His mother opened his door and smiled at him.

"Good Morning, sweetheart. How are you today? "Sally asked, and Percy saw that she was still worried about him.

He smiled at her. "Mum. I'm fine, really, "he said and stood up.

"Yes, okay. I'm sorry, I'm a total helicopter mother again, "she replied, laughing. Percy smirked.

"A little bit. But it's okay. Is breakfast ready? "Percy asked, trying to distract the subject.

"Of course, Paul is preparing everything. I'm sorry Percy, but are you really well? You look very tired. Have you even slept at all? "Percy sighed.

"Yes, Mum. I just had a bad dream, "Percy said, and went to his mum and kissed her on the cheek.

In a way, Percy actually had a nightmare.

This one called itself: Life.

* * *

 **Yeah, that was quite a sad chapter, wasn't it? Now the time has come for you to decide if you still want to continue reading,**

 **or not haha. Because you can believe me, that from chapter to chapter Percys thoughts are going to get even more depressed.**

 **BUT I can also say you don't have to worry about me killing Percy. I would NEVER do that! But yeah, this story is a really sad story, with**

 **a deep meaning. You can read it, or not. But PLEASE if it triggers you in any way, take care of your own health and stop reading, okay? 3**

 **That's all for today. Please leave some reviews, they really motivate me to keep going with this story :)**

 **Love you guys! xxx**

 **P.S: A big thank you to my beta reader! x**


	5. Don't let me drown

**Author's note: Oh my god. It's been one year since this fanfiction? I can't believe it! It actually just feels like, I don't know, a few weeks hahah.. Okay well, I just found this chapter I actually had it finished all these months, but I never uploaded it. So yeah, here it is. The truth is, I don't relly like this chapter :/ Oh and I wondered if anyone is still reading this? If yes, would you like me to start writing again? Because I would actually start to work on this again if there are a few people who still want be to continue :)**

 **Just let me know!**

 **Disclaimer: I sadly own nothing of Percy Jackson.**

 **p.s: sorry for grammar mistakes and so on. No one beta read this, so it's probably full of mistakes :'D**

* * *

 _Chapter 4 - Don't let me drown_

 _One more moment of this silence_  
 _The loneliness is haunting me_  
 _And the weight of the worlds getting harder to hold up_

 _It comes in waves, I close my eyes_  
 _Hold my breath and let it bury me_  
 _I'm not OK and it's not all right_  
 _Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again_

 _Who will fix me now?_  
 _Dive in when I'm down?_  
 _Save me from myself_  
 _Don't let me drown_  
 _Who will make me fight?_  
 _Drag me out alive?_  
 _Save me from myself_  
 _Don't let me drown_

* * *

They sat silently at the little dining table, each one of them, lost in their own thoughts. Percy knew that both were worried about him, but what could he do to convince them of the opposite? Was there even any way to convince them that he was doing well? Probably not. Didn't parents have a sense of their children's misery? Well, from his father Poseidon he could not expect anything. But his mother, she always knew when something was wrong with him. He didn't like to admit it directly, but Percy himself knew something was wrong with him.

It was getting worse from day to day, and so slowly he wondered if this feeling was not a side effect of falling in Tartarus. It didn't sound so illogical, actually it would explain a lot. But if he felt that bad because of the Tartarus, why didn't Annabeth felt the same way when he saw her the last time? Or maybe she did feel like him, and he just didn't notice it? He shook his head. No, he didn't want to imagine Annabeth going through the same shit. She was strong, stronger than he ever was.

"Percy?" Paul's voice tore him out of his thoughts. Just as lately, Percy was always busy with his thoughts and not with what was happening around him.

"Yes?" Percy replied, looking confused in Paul's face.

"Your mother and I, we thought about the fact, that it would be a good idea if you go back to school as long as you're staying here."

Percy sighed. He had expected that this would probably be an issue at some point. Of course he couldn't sit in his room all day, even if he would do it all too much. But whether he wanted to or not, he had to go back to school. Paul and his mother were only polite enough to express it as if he had a choice, but of course he didn't.

"Yes, I had already expected that," said Percy while he took another bite of his blue pancake. He usually enjoyed every bite, but now it just felt like he was eating a piece of coal.

"So you agree? That's good! Then you should already get ready."

Percy almost swallowed.

"What? Already today?" He hadn't expected that. He thought maybe next week, or as soon as the new school year was about to start again and not in the middle of the school year. Above all, he had no idea how he should catch up with the whole stuff. Percy was not stupid, but his ADHD and dyslexia did not make his life any easier. Even though these were his strongest qualities as half-god, as a human being though, they were not really helpful.

"Yes,today. But you don't have to worry about anything. The students there are used to the new classmates. Everything will be fine, I promise. And if something goes wrong, I willl always be there to help you, if you need it."

Percy slowly dropped his fork and nodded.

"Okay. Then I'll go and get ready." Slowly he got up and went back into his room.

He had been awake all night, and now had to go to school again. That could only end in a catastrophe. But apart from that, Percy hoped that this time no monsters would appear.

Because this would mean to him that he had to go back to the camp and he was definitely not ready to return, even if he terribly missed Annabeth.

Percy quickly pulled on a blue shirt with a V-neck, slipped into a pair of black jeans, and stuffed a notepad, that was still in his room, into his backpack.

"Percy!" Paul shouted from the kitchen.

"Yes! I'm coming, "Percy said, and went out of his room with a sigh.

Percy watched as single raindrops fell down the windows off the car. It reminded him of a game which he had played as a child again and again, when he had drove away with his mother. Admittedly, it was not really a real game, it was just a matter of guessing which raindrop was faster and would arrive the bottom first. It was nothing special, but Percy had played it again and again, and now it calmed him down in a way. He was nervous, no question. He would once again be the new one and he already knew that everyone would consider him a freak, it was always like that. But Percy could not blame them. As soon as he appeared, only terrible things happened. That was his life.

And yet, again he wondered if it would be different now that he had no more powers. Maybe the monsters would not be able to track him now, but Percy didn't know for sure of course. He just hoped that for one time in his life, something would be normal.

"Everything okay with you?" Paul snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Yes, I'm just a bit nervous, but it's okay," Percy replied.

Paul smiled at him, cheerfully.

"Don't worry, Percy. Everything will be all right. And if something happens, I am still there."

Percy knew he wanted to cheer him up, but the very fact that Paul would be there too, did not make it much better either. It was one thing thing to be stunned at, because you were being persecuted by monsters or something like that. But it was even worse to drive together with your teacher to your school, because he was the boyfriend of your mother. Whether monsters would appear or not, Percy would definitely be a hot topic again.

After a few minutes, Paul turned into a street, and immediately Percy saw the small building from the Goode High School. Immediately he felt his palms begin to sweat. He would catch all the attention and Percy hated to be the centre of attention, especially if all he really wanted was to be left alone.

"There we are," Paul said, and the two of them got out of the car and went to Percy's new school.

Percy looked at the school. It looked like a typical American school, to be exact, it looked like in any other school he had been before. On the sides of the corridors were the various lockers, each one of them was differently decorated, and you could already see at first sight which one was from the boys and which from the girls.

Percy envied them in a way, he'd never been in a school long enough to specialize his own locker. But this time he set himself the goal of hanging at least one photo.

There were still a few students in the corridors, who were standing together in small groups and threw some curious gaze into his direction. A group of girls giggled as he passed them and Percy wondered why. Even when he was almost out of reach, he still heard the giggling and whispering of the other students. Percy immediately felt uncomfortable. He had left the camp exactly for this reason, he did not want to be the "freak" again. But no matter how much he hated it, he had no choice.

"Okay, Percy. I have to leave you alone. My lessons start now and I still have to prepare a few things for my students. But I see you after school and then you can tell me everything about how your first day was, okay? "Paul said.

Even before Percy could give him a correct answer, Paul turned around with a last smile and disappeared in the corridors of the school. Now Percy stood alone in front of the door leading to the rector, and for a moment, he seriously thought about turning around and marching out of school. But the good sense prevailed and he knocked at the door.

Immediately a deep voice answered, "Yes, please?"

Percy squeezed the cold door latch down and walked straight into the probably most colourful office he had ever seen. The walls were painted in a blue and red colour, and were decorated by many different pictures and prizes. Everywhere there were small figures, books and plants. Percy was not a son of Aphrodite, but even he realized that the colour combination of the walls did not match the yellow armchair. The desk, on which an elderly man with a long black curly hair and beard sat, was soaked in a light orange tinge. With all the colours and objects that were in this small space, Percy did not know where to look first. _Paul could have at least warned me,_ Percy thought.

"Ah, Mr. Jackson! Come in and take a sit! Mr. Blofis had already announced you and told me some very interesting thing about you."

It didn't surprise Percy that Paul had spoken of him. Paul thought that Percy was a nice, wonderful, and of course very special young man, even if Percy would definitely not assert himself. He knew that Paul meant only good to him. And that was one of the things that Percy liked about him.

"Uh, thank you," Percy murmured a little awkwardly and took a seat opposite the Rector. "You have a very ... nice office."

The man laughed loudly, which made Percy slightly flinch. In some way, he reminded him of someone, but Percy did not know exactly who. But something of his appearance and character seemed familiar to him.

"Welcome to Goode High School! I'm rector Stark, "said the man in a loud voice. Percy wondered why they would hired such an old, crazy man as a school director. He could not imagine how he was to lead a serious school, let alone how he had the students at his fingertips. It was a mystery to him.

"Okay, Percy. Mr. Blofis told me that you already visited some different schools? Oh, I can say Percy to you, can't I? I mean, you're such a handsome young man, "he said, laughing again, and the desk in front jerked slightly.

Percy forced a smile. "Yes, of course, Percy is okay. And yes, I was already in some schools .. "Percy muttered. He was absolutely uncomfortable to talk about this. It was always hard to explain why he had been to so many schools. At the same time, he was already preparing for a long lecture on his past, which in the end only meant that he flew out of the high school before the day was over.

"Ah, well okay. That is absolutely no problem! Most of our students here have been at many, different schools for various reasons. But here, at Goode High School, it doesn't matter what happened in your past. Here you get a second, or even tithe, chance. ", He replied, laughing again.

Percy was surprised. He had not expected that.

"But I do not want to stop you any longer! I just wanted to see your face. I think we are going to see each other more often over here, or maybe not."

"Okay, thanks .. But where exactly am I supposed to go now?" Percy asked confused.

Immediately Mr. Stark began to laugh again.

"Oh, God, I forgot to give you your things!" He stood up jerkily, his thick belly showing up.

"Here you go," he said, handing Percy a stack of books and his timetable.

"Oh dear. So late already ?! I need to go now. I have an important meeting! Have fun, Percy Jackson. We'll see each other. "And with that he went out with a hasty step.

 _What a weird guy,_ Percy thought.

He took a look at his timetable and realized that he now had two hours of art in the basement with a Mrs. Rose.

Percy never really had anything to do with art, but it was certainly much better for him than literature or Math. Sighing, he went back to the now empty hallways. As there was only one, single staircase that led down, Percy walked toward it and slowly went down.

He was standing in front of a wooden door. The cellar had been expanded and the walls were painted in a light grey tone, on the contrary to the colourful office, and were decorated by many, simple works of art.

Carefully, he knocked at the door and prepared himself for the look of the others.

"Yes, please?" said a friendly, soft voice. Percy opened the door and stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Oh hello! Can I help you somehow?" asked a young woman, who had braided her blond hair into a plait.

"Um, yes," said Percy. "I am Percy Jackson, the new student. My timetable says, I now have art with a Mrs. Rose?"

"Oh, of course, I am Mrs. Rose! Just come in and sit down in the free seat. "

Percy nodded and turned to the free seat in the last row. Quietly, he took a seat. The eyes of the other students straightened again, only a few still looked at him curiously. Percy also recognized a few faces that he had seen before in the hallway. This included the three girls who giggled as crazy as he passed them. Now, however, they paid no attention to him.

"Okay. We have just talked about free art and what it can express. Today I want something very special from you. Each one of you will now take a note from my bowl. On it you can find the name of a song. "

Immediately, most of the students started whispering wildly. Percy, however, had no idea what was going on.

"I want you to listen to this song, which is on the note and to paint a picture, which comes to your head. But it should also have something to do with your life. Something that touched you, positive or negative. Perhaps also an event in your life which has made you the person you are today. Understood?"

Percy did not feel so well about this job. He had just arrived and already had to share his deepest feelings.

"Well, then I'll give the bowl around. And everyone please just takes one note! And it will not be exchanged or anything else. If you have a note, please raise your hand so I can give you an mp3 player, where you can find the song."

Some students sighed annoyed, while others seemed to be happy about the song they had drawn. When the box arrived at Percy there was only one note left. Slowly he opened it: Drown by Bring me to the Horizon.

 _That has to be a joke,_ Percy thought, and ran his fingers through his black hair.

How much bad luck could he have? How many students were they, 27? Or more? And exaggerated he had to pull a song with this title. Percy did not know the song, but the title already said a lot.

"And Percy, satisfied with your song?" Mrs. Rose asked, looking at him with a smile. Percy tried to smile too.

"Um, I do not know the song. But it'll be okay I guess, "he replied. Mrs. Rose nodded to him and handed him one of the Mp3 players, some colour, brushes, and a blank canvas. Percy would prefer to leave the screen empty. For, to be honest, there was no better way to show his feelings than a blank piece of paper.

Sighing, Percy took the headphones into his hand and hit Play. Immediately the music roared in his ears and the first verse clang like an echo in his head. Without thinking about it, he began to paint. First one stroke, then another. He did not have a precise plan for what picture he would see in the end. He was not even sure if the picture he drew made any sense. After all, this was Percy's first attempt to paint a picture. I mean, he was not the son of Apollo and was that creative. But he also was no longer the son of Poseidon, that he at least believed, now that his powers were gone.

After hours of percussions, Percy stopped and looked at his picture. It was not very good, but not as bad as he had expected.

"That looks really good," Percy suddenly heard Mrs. Rose's voice behind his back.

He took the headphones out of his ear and stopped the song. "Thank you," he replied simply.

"And? Does it have a deeper meaning for you? Or is it just a normal painting?"

Percy played with the cable of the headphones in his hand. Would it be a wise idea to tell her the truth? Of course not the whole truth, just a little part of it? But then he remembered that Paul was working here and probably would hear about it. So he just shrugged and shook his head.

"To be honest, no. It's just a picture that matched the song."

Mrs. Rose looked at him sceptically, but then smiled.

"Okay, but still, good work. Okay, that was it for today. Just leave everything at your place, I'll clean it up for you, since tomorrow is weekend and you all desperately want to go home. "She said, winking at the class. Immediately everyone packed their things together and ran out of the door.

"Uh, don't we have any more lessons today?" Percy asked, as all the students had already left the classroom.

"Actually yes. But since Mr. Stark is not here today, with whom you would actually had history, you can leave a little earlier than normally. ", Mr. Rose responded and smiled at Percy in encouragement. "I know it's stupid to be the new one. But believe me, you'll soon find great friends and feel like home here. "

Percy smiled. He knew she meant it well, so did everyone else, but Percy had already a home. The Camp. And that he realized now. This here, it was not his world, it would probably never be. But could he just return to camp? The fear of being no longer a half-god, made him feel uncertain. Was he still welcome there at all? Probably not.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Percy replied, turning her back without another word and leaving the classroom.

On the way home, Percy and Paul didn't talk much. Paul, however, always tried to start a conversation. He asked him about his first day and if he had liked the art lesson. But Percy had no desire to talk about it. He felt as if he had no home any more, no shelter. The ocean, which had always awakened the feeling of a home in him, now only made him feel fear. At the camp, he felt like an outsider, just like in this school. And slowly, Percy wondered where his place was, what his quest was?

He had spent most of his life doing tasks for the gods, as a hero. But now that he had no task, no prophecy, he did not know what to do. Especially now that he couldn't even control the water any more. Who was he? His father had probably already forgotten him, which Percy would understand. He was no longer a son of Poseidon.

He was just Percy. No half-god. No hero.

He was just nothing.

* * *

 **So, what do you think? Should I start writing again or better not? Let me know 3**


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